Knowing When To Stop

Those who know me, know I don't give up easily. That is what makes this decision so difficult.  In May I had full intentions of recovering from my surgery and giving it my all, training right to prevent injury and keeping my love for running going.  Unfortunately, as life usually goes, that is not what has happened.  2 weeks ago I suffered from pure exhaustion, not enough sleep, not enough food, and too much training.  I did the right thing and I took 4 days off to regain my strength and energy.  My next run was a wonderful 5k around town, where I had my fastest time and I was SO happy!  The very next day I dislocated a rib, which put me out for another week.

I was disappointed with the new injury, but did ad the doctor told me and rested.  I was released Monday (5 days ago) and started my training back up.  1.5 weeks off doesn't seem like long but it has reset my training back atleast 5 weeks.  I can barely run 5k now and today to keep on track I should have ran 8.  It is because of this that I have decided to call off my training for the Disney Marathon in Jan 2012.  I will continue to train for the half in Des Moines at the end of October, and who knows maybe at that time I will reconsider the Disney, but for now I am suffering from Runners Depression which I will explain more about below, and it's more important for me to be able to run forever, then to push myself and get hurt and never be able to run again.

Runners Depression- What is that you ask?  Well, we all know what a runners high is.  Is the endorphins racing through your body after a run, what makes most of us runners run, and why we love it.  It's a peaceful all over body high that leaves you genuinely happy.  I miss that feeling, it is why I run and it's what I look forward to each day.  Lately I've been experiencing what I would call a Runners Depression.  I characterize this by finishing a run and feeling lousy, disappointed, and genuinely upset with my performance for the day.  This is a feeling that has happened alot over the last month, and in turn has set me up to hate my runs.

I love running, but the pressure to stay on my tight schedule for the marathon has started to ruin it for me.  And that pressure pushes me to go distances that I know I'm not ready for, and risk permanent injury to my foot that is already weak from surgery in May.  I've thought long and hard about this, and to save my body from injury, save my mind from runners depression, and give myself the JOY of running back, Disney is going to have to go away.

This is not an easy choice for me, and I am rather upset about it, but I know it's what needs to be done.  I will be resetting back to week one for training for the half marathon in October, and hope to regain that beloved runners high again!

Sometimes the smart thing is knowing when to stop- that is my advice for the day.  It might be a hard pill to swallow, but I think it's what I need.

<3 Amber